Dad Joke Doesn’t Work Out

Written by Christopher Null on February 1st, 2016

Me: Hey kids, look, a flock of cows!

Zoe (13): Brown cows!

Me: Uh, yeah, a flock of cows!

Zoe: Yeah, brown cows!

Beckett (9): It’s not flock.

Me: Yeah, flock of cows!

Beckett: Flock is for birds.

Me (frustrated): Yeah, flock of cows!

Beckett (rolls eyes): Never mind.

 

Let Me Get That To Go

Written by Christopher Null on January 25th, 2016

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How It Feels Right Now Outside

Written by Christopher Null on January 1st, 2016

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I Guess Nature Always Finds a Way

Written by Christopher Null on December 1st, 2015

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I Call This Photo “The Stalker”

Written by Christopher Null on November 9th, 2015

stalker

 

Varmint Cong

Written by Christopher Null on November 2nd, 2015

 

Found ‘im!

Written by Christopher Null on November 1st, 2015

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O RLY?

Written by Christopher Null on October 15th, 2015

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Windows

Written by Christopher Null on October 1st, 2015

Since upgrading my brand new Lenovo Yoga 3 to Windows 10…

  • webcam doesn’t work
  • iTunes won’t even load
  • keyboard randomly doubles up on characters about 1 of 100 times you press a key… but about 1 out of 5 times you press the letter C
  • and there’s no help for any of this online

Story of my life.

 

Fun Facts

Written by Christopher Null on September 1st, 2015

Mount Rushmore was originally conceived as nothing more than a way to get tourists to come to South Dakota. Beats the world’s largest ball of twine, I guess.

 

This Is a Real Site

Written by Christopher Null on August 2nd, 2015

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I dunno, she looks like a gluten eater to me. How do they keep people from lying on their profiles just to try to get with eligible, gluten-free singles???

 

Another Lost Art

Written by Christopher Null on June 28th, 2015

My old boss Tere knew shorthand, and watching her scribble those hieroglyphics during interviews always fascinated me. This story makes me want to master it myself.

 

YES!

Written by Christopher Null on June 1st, 2015

you-can-even

 

New Frontiers in Vandalism

Written by Christopher Null on May 1st, 2015

Bring in the drones!

 

April Fool

Written by Christopher Null on April 1st, 2015

Is it just me or are the April Fools’ Day pranks of today getting entirely tiresome? I think it’s because the internet makes it too easy to pull them off. How about painting the Golden Gate Bridge blue or releasing a herd of cows inside City Hall? Now that’s a prank, people.

Case in point. (I can’t tell if Eater even got the joke…)

 

Following the Rules

Written by Christopher Null on March 20th, 2015

The kids aren’t supposed to put “empty” food packages back in the cupboards, so (look closely)…

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Tattoos = Art

Written by Christopher Null on March 1st, 2015

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Saline Solution, $100 an Ounce

Written by Christopher Null on January 30th, 2015

How do you get placebos to work better? Charge more for them. Mind over matter… but money over mind.

 

International Shipping

Written by Christopher Null on January 1st, 2015

So UPS, let me get this straight.

Someone ships an express worldwide package — 58 pounds — to Ghana, Africa, using my UPS account number, but from an origin that’s about 2,000 miles away from where I live. The bill for the shipping is over $1,000. I almost never ship anything, let alone anything to Africa.

You don’t see anything just a little bit odd about that scenario?

 

If George Lucas Cut the New Star Wars Trailer…

Written by Christopher Null on December 1st, 2014

The lightsaber bit had me LOLing.