Urban Dictionary: douchebag

Written by Christopher Null on March 14th, 2007

To the clown who let his kid walk on the countertop at La Corneta tonight:

Sure, I know it’s tough when you’re dad out with the kid (what, was he four?), as I have two young kids myself, including one about the age of your blonde-haired moptop of a boy. I’m sure you let him crawl all over the furniture at home, but really, did you think letting him walk along the countertop on the other side of the glass at the taqueria was a great idea? Yes, I know the food is on the opposite side of the glass partition, but let’s consider your kid’s shoes and what might be on them, flying off through the cracks between the counter and the bottom of the glass, or just adhering to the counter themselves.

Again, I have a kid. And I walk on the street. Both are gross.

And even if the food doesn’t have to touch that counter, all of us behind you in line do. And the counter touches our to-go bags, and those touch our tables, and… you get the picture.

When you’re at home, I don’t care if you change your kid’s diapers (I’m sure he’s still in ’em) in your own bed and use your bathtowels to wipe your hands. But you’re in public. Even if you don’t want to teach the kid the most basic of manners — not to walk on the freakin’ countertops — at least think of the hygiene of your fellow man.

Ass.

 

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