delusions of grandeur browsing by category



Thursday, September 1st, 2016

I feel like I’ve met a few writers in my time that have pulled the same stunt…

Soccer’s Ultimate Con Man Was a Superstar Who Couldn’t Play the Game

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Lick It

Monday, August 1st, 2016

Where Do the World’s Hazelnuts Go?

Friday, July 1st, 2016

Well, exactly where you think they go.

Royal Crown

Wednesday, June 1st, 2016

Everything you ever wanted to know about RC Cola (and why it never became popular).

Still my favorite soda… though I don’t even drink Coke any more…

I Want to Believe

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

Why we are almost certainly not alone, and why we will almost certainly never meet another alien species anyway.


OK, But I Like It More Than It Likes Me

Friday, April 1st, 2016

No you hang up first.

No you.


Spoiler Alert

Friday, March 25th, 2016

My Fast Food Mashup: The Chick-N-Out

Saturday, March 5th, 2016

It came to me in a dream. What if you took a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and an In-N-Out burger and put them together?

Today I made that dream a reality, taking one In-N-Out cheeseburger (animal style) and one Chick-Fil-A sandwich (extra pickles) and slapping them together. (Drop the bottom bun of the In-N-Out and the top bun of the Chick-Fil-A. Chicken goes on the bottom of the combined sandwich.)

Results: Incredibly delicious and probably extremely healthy, too. The Chick-N-Out (get it?) is one for the ages!

chick-n-out sandwich

Let Me Get That To Go

Monday, January 25th, 2016


I Guess Nature Always Finds a Way

Tuesday, December 1st, 2015


Varmint Cong

Monday, November 2nd, 2015


Thursday, October 15th, 2015



Fun Facts

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

Mount Rushmore was originally conceived as nothing more than a way to get tourists to come to South Dakota. Beats the world’s largest ball of twine, I guess.

Another Lost Art

Sunday, June 28th, 2015

My old boss Tere knew shorthand, and watching her scribble those hieroglyphics during interviews always fascinated me. This story makes me want to master it myself.


Monday, June 1st, 2015


New Frontiers in Vandalism

Friday, May 1st, 2015

Bring in the drones!

April Fool

Wednesday, April 1st, 2015

Is it just me or are the April Fools’ Day pranks of today getting entirely tiresome? I think it’s because the internet makes it too easy to pull them off. How about painting the Golden Gate Bridge blue or releasing a herd of cows inside City Hall? Now that’s a prank, people.

Case in point. (I can’t tell if Eater even got the joke…)

Saline Solution, $100 an Ounce

Friday, January 30th, 2015

How do you get placebos to work better? Charge more for them. Mind over matter… but money over mind.

If George Lucas Cut the New Star Wars Trailer…

Monday, December 1st, 2014

The lightsaber bit had me LOLing.

Plastic Bags Illegal in All California Supermarkets

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

The new law goes into effect for large grocery chains and pharmacies beginning July 1, 2015. It will extend to convenience stores and liquor stores July 1, 2016.

Under the law, stores will be required to offer customers recycled paper bags or bags made of compostable material at a cost of at least 10 cents. Consumers buying groceries using California’s food-assistance program won’t have to pay for bags.

Assuming the law keeps expanding: How will Chinatown function?