How not to get a job (full text of an email I received today):

Subject: HR Dept

Gentlemen,

You are being contactedtoday proactively to announce my immediate availability. Generally seeking employment full time or contractual in management or sales management. Travel not a problem. Fluent in German.

Your consideration most appreciated.

Regards

van Eton

London, W14 0HD – United Kingdom

0044 207 603 5340