Just how predictable are the film critics of Entertainment Weekly?

While I’m anxiously waiting for my subscription to expire in January 2006, let’s have a little fun. There’s rarely any surprise to be found in the EW movie review pages, so I’m going to put my own powers of intuition to the test to see if I can guess how the mag’s resident film critics (who now have their own ridiculous Q&A column, but that’s another story) will judge this week’s films. This way I won’t ever have to read the reviews at all, not even those clever grades they drop!

Full disclosure: I have no inside knowledge of the EW operation, don’t get advance copies of the magazine, and have no vested interest in cheating. In fact, I don’t see the vast majority of films each week — I typically see them over the next few months. My picks are based solely on my guess about exactly how predictable, homogenized, and unwilling-to-offend that EW’s critics will be, week in and week out. Also note that EW doesn’t always review all of that week’s releases, and sometimes it reviews films a week early. I’ll try to post my picks on Wednesdays and post results as soon as my issue arrives, which is usually Friday afternoon (along with any commentary). I haven’t seen this week’s issue yet, so let’s get started! (Once Upon a Time in Mexico was inexplicably reviewed last week, so I’m skipping that one…)

MOVIE – My Guess

Matchstick Men: B+

Cabin Fever: B

Lost in Translation: B

Dummy: A-

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Christopher Null

Christopher Null is a veteran technology journalist and the owner of Null Media, a custom blogging company.