Lemos Farm is a kid’s playground in Half Moon Bay. It seems to be massively popular with people having birthday parties in the area. It is also the place where city kids go to go on a pony ride. They have a ton of them hooked up to a post and they walk around in circles. Your kid can ride for 10 minutes or so for $2.50.

One of the other attractions is the “GHOST TRAIN RIDE” (also $2.50 per person), which is actually a small tram that rides on the road through a sort of miniature ghost town on the property. When you get to the end it turns around and goes back. Obviously geared toward kids, I found the trip through the first time so awesome that I made a photo essay of it on the way back. So in case you’re not in the Bay Area, you can experience it, sort of, for yourself. Though really, these photos could hardly do it justice. It’s just that killer.

So, without further ado, let’s visit The Least Scary Ghost Town of All Time!

Ghost cow. Get ready.

Not really sure what I’m looking at here. Most of the attractions are puppets or some sort, a combination of stuffed animals, dolls, and mannequins.

Faceless people. Scary! Obviously a discount on sewing dummies. You’ll see lots of these.

Haunted gold mine with four-googly-eyed miner! Scary!

Haunted outhouse. My four-year-old daughter that this was the scariest. Maybe it was the giant red sombrero that did it.

Here lies Les More. No Les. No More. Would be funny if I wasn’t so scared.

Hard to see, but that’s like some kind of giant anime character off to the right. Only haunted.

Scary covered wagon.

More faceless people on a gallows. No noose, though. I guess people got tired of explaining that one to the kids, but didn’t have a problem with the zombie on the toilet.

A personal favorite. Smiling skeletal zombie sheriffs, posing for a picture. They remind me of Chip and Dale.

These guys looked cobbled together from the dregs of the costumes on sale at the Halloween shop on November 3rd.

My daughter’s obsessed with “brides” and even liked this one. As do I.

The undertaker has no face. His wife does and is two feet taller than him. Rocky marriage, I’m sure.

Another tops. The blacksmith is shoeing a mangy stuffed animal that looks like it’s been out in the elements for several years.

Haunted pet wolverine? I’m not sure.

Ye olde saloon, where all the castoffs go to recuperate after a long day of posing for pictures.

Pumpkinhead cowboys? The guy on the right is like a budget Homestar Runner.

Haunted trashcan. BTW U R Doomed. 7.

Put a skeleton on a busted office chair, and put that chair on a fake rock. That is a recipe for SKEEEERY!

Pile of random styrofoam bones. My daughter says, “They’re real!”

No refunds? Aw… The hunchback in the foreground is a classic.

The cashier reneged on the offer for the 50-cent bed of nails. Jerk. (Also check out Boo-Berry dude in the back and the guy with the tongue on the left…)

This one’s almost genuinely scary. His little pet rat coming out of the hole next to him seals the deal. That and the Christmas lights.

Assay, indeed!