Per my wife: The Mozart setting on the baby mobile is most likely to make her more alert and playful, while the Bach setting is most likely to make her fall asleep.

I am warm hungry.

When you’re unemployed… You’ve rated 1005 movies. Rate More! Courtesy Netflix.

Why do they call it GQ magazine? It comes out monthly and most of the people I know who read it are female.

Spied at BevMo: Cynar Artichoke Liqueur: Considered by some to be one of the world’s greatest aphrodisiacs!

From my pal Brian at checkthegrid.com: “We’re close to completing our new version of CTG… I have the answer to your question comparing your average reviews against the field… out of 24 critics with at least 100 reviews, you come up 22nd in terms of average score with 4.7 out of 10. The average for…

Thank you PG&E, for the additional 5 hours of power outage. I especially like how you did that neat strobe effect where the power went on and off every second for awhile. That was really cool.

Best. Softcore. Ever! I’m really looking forward to “The Two Towers.”

Bizarre telemarketing call I just got: “Hi Chris, this is such-and-such from Exodus Film Company in Los Angeles!” ME: “Hi.” (I get calls from studios all the time… nothing strange so far) “We’re producing a family film based on the Paul Bunyan stories from the producer of Home Alone and we’d like to offer you…

Is this spam? If so, it’s not very good spam. If it’s a pitch, it’s even worse. — Dear Editor: – finances I propose a set of financial biographies of professionals. I served as an administrative assistant in this regard, took notes on financial decisions, and earned a doctorate in a related field. Thank you…

Little Zoe managed to smack me with her little flailing arms last night, gouging my eye with her little baby fingernails. This hurt like you wouldn’t believe and now it’s just sore, as my cornea is clearly scratched. That’s 2 injuries now.

What, what, what is the point of THIS (from my phone bill): Additions & Changes Activity on 415 xxx-xxxx Order 11477165 Monthly Service Charges Added to Monthly Service from Dec 24, 2002 thru Jan 12, 2003 Partial Description Qty Month One-Time Amount ������������������������������������ 2-09 Federal Universal Service Fee 1 .25 .25 .42 Per Month Removed…

Painful side effect of yesterday’s power outage: My back is in massive pain thanks to sitting on the floor all evening to play board games by candlelight (won Monopoly handily, lost Operation due to impossible “writer’s cramp” piece — the irony). Damn you PG&E!

Today the power went out… for about 10 hours. Why does this happen only on days I’m staying at home all day… and the day after I go to the grocery store (laden with full-sodium bacon, thank you)? It was amazing how few homes were affected. Really just a few blocks, centered on our house.…

What recession? Dear Jobseeker, ***Your editor search agent found 200 jobs: Now if some of those were in San Francisco instead of Ithaca and Dobb’s Ferry…

This is a public service announcement about bacon. They were out of regular Oscar Meyer bacon last week, so I bought the “Lower Sodium” version of the same product. Looked exactly the same and I figured it couldn’t be much different, right? Well, not only does this bacon taste like ass (or rather, like nothing),…

Distressed that her father was now unemployed, the child turned to drink.

Severance day, baby! I bury my fourth magazine today. New Architect is no more. Okay, so what’s next?

In keeping with my lack of having anything interesting to say and my recent hypochondria focus (last night I woke up choking, I swear to God), here’s an interesting link. Yes, this is a real magazine.

Now that I have none of it, I’ve been cutting my own hair with some success. Until today. You see, I have to rely on my wife to make the straight line along the back of my head, as it’s impossible to see, owing to the fact that my eyes are both in the front.…