Oh Jesus they filed down my teeth. They drilled my teeth down into… into… into smaller teeth! This is truly creepy and it’s starting to hurt, though that might be the deep cleaning around #23 and #22 I also requested. Now my teeth don’t touch, which might make my mouth stop hurting. Might.

Dude, you’re gettin’ a severance. Fun fact: I have never seen any of the TV commercials with the Dell dude. And I watch plenty of TV. Link courtesy Jim Dedman.

From Video Store magazine. Official sales slogan for VHS and DVD copies of Margaret Cho’s Notorious C.H.O. movie (designed to sell copies to video stores, not consumers): CHO ME THE MONEY!

Today I spent one full hour in line at the post office watching five utterly baffled postal workers attempt to get one of the computers working again. This is the sole utterance that I could make out from among the muttering during that time: “Mouse port?”

Wow, a terrible, terrible local tragedy. Inexplicable. An outrage. How could this possibly have happened? What are we supposed to do now? Life will never be the same again.

Incubus is a pretty crappy movie, but Esperanto is actually pretty interesting. Mi amas vin.

Overheard at the SFMOMA, at the new (and impressive) Gerhard Richter exhibit (the specific painting in question is one of his blurred-motion pieces of people riding in a speedboat): “That’s just like Ya-Ya.” Overheard at the same exhibit by my wife: “I don’t know what the big deal is. He’s just copying photographs.” You give…

How far has CGI come? Take this quiz (actually a vendor promo site) and see if you can pick the CG pics from the real photos. I actually got all 10 right on the first try, but then again, I tend to do pretty well on those “real or fake” quizzes… You know the ones…

The Bachelor and his bimbettes are total tools. I love how this guy is supposed to be so sophisticated, but when he and his bimbette-of-the-moment are taken behind the scenes at a Napa Valley winery and allowed to partake of barrel samples, you don’t drink directly out of the “wine thief” (a glass siphon) like…

I got an enormous laugh out of this would-be art critic’s evaluation of the K-8 set and couldn’t resist posting it. Link courtesy Neil McAllister.

There was a nasty wreck along my route to work today, at a poorly-designed intersection which I sit through almost every day. Ambulances, cop cars, traffic being directed… when they cart someone off under a yellow plastic tarp, that’s not good, is it? If only I’d left 15 minutes earlier that could’ve been me… This…

This amuses me greatly. Somehow my novel is “closely related” to The Lord of the Rings on DVD! I hope this link works.

If you liked the TV stand, you’ll love the in-dash CD changer!

I was going to write about how annoying a whole bunch of Sunday drivers were (and this being Friday, they have no reason to be on the street), but I got an email which really got me going. To wit: Subject: IMPORTANT CHANGES AT ZAGAT.COM As a registered user of our site, you are invited…

I have the urge to update this site daily but in the absence of any amusing anecdotes to tell or links to share, I fear that simply typing something for the sake of typing something would be conceited and boring. Yet oblivious people do this all the time. So I’m coining a term to describe…

I interviewed Kevin Mitnick a few months ago — he didn’t mention he was going to sell off his equipment on Ebay! Great idea, I gotta say, though I’m dying to find out what the reserve is. Link courtesy CNet.

I had the good fortune to see two recommendable movies over the last few days. Check out reviews of Red Dragon and Far From Heaven here!

Some nitwit crashed on the Bay Bridge, taking out four of the five lanes and causing havoc with Bay Area traffic. Cars were gridlocked deep into San Francisco. I realized I have completely lost my patience for road traffic today when I could actually see my office building only three blocks away but knew it…

Barry Bonds hit home run #613 right over my head and out of Pac Bell Park (and into San Francisco Bay) this weekend. I don’t give a rat’s ass about baseball, but that was still kinda cool. They soak the folks in the bleachers with a big water cannon when he hits a “splash ball.”…

From the instruction manual for the Winebar Jr., a hand-me-down wine dispenser/fridge/thingy I just received. (All typos sic.) ATTENTION Your Winebar Jr. has been tested to insure it’s proper working condition. It will give you a long live of service if it is maintained properly. However, if these instructions are disregarded you will run into…