Why is she so mean?
Why is she so mean?
Why is she so mean?
True post office exchange of the day.
Clerk: The total is $5.10.
I hand over a $20 bill.
Clerk looking confused: Do you have anything smaller? Like a five or a six?
Realization of the day: if our cable TV provider were to join them, we would have no utilities being serviced by a solvent company (joining phone, electric, and gas providers — all bankrupt).
It is not a noodle.
My father does this for all his neighbors and he’s happily stayed out of jail. Imagine the prison tats…
Sight of the day: One-legged woman trying to cross a busy downtown street, not at a crosswalk.
The nagging pain behind tooth #23 has taken me to the dentist three times already, every time with the same diagnosis: there is nothing wrong with you. Another “I don’t see anything there” today. Now it’s off to the periodontist (gum doctor) to see if he can figure it out. Grand.
Check out this unseen Lord of the Rings footage!
My birthday is coming up. I like Style K the best.
Graffito of the day: “don’t upcharge on the chips asswipe.”
In most men’s room stalls, you’ll usually find a newspaper (or at least a section of it) left by some kind soul for entertainment purposes in an otherwise morose locale. Today I discovered not a section of the Wall Street Journal, but instead a handful of pages printed out from WSJ.com. Is this sad? Maybe it wouldn’t have been so depressing if all the stories weren’t on politics. Print out the Lifestyle section next time, dude!
Ladies: If you’re going to do the limbo in a short skirt, people are going to see up it. No lie.
What a waste. Think of how many butter-eating contests this could have funded.
What a waste. Think of how many butter-eating contests this could have funded.