Day 8

Now it gets tense. The tree has officially been passed over for two consecutive garbage day pickups, and now the owner has to make a decision: Hope the garbage company takes it, wait for a good Samaritan to do the job, or actually deal with it. Meanwhile, it’s starting to turn fairly brown. We’ll be watching!

Day 6

A whole row of trees (including the one I’d had my eye on) abruptly vanished this afternoon. Good news: A tree around the corner is still lingering, and will become our new specimen.

Scraggly on the base but largely intact — and more importantly, taking up a parking space.

Day 3

The trashcans are gone, but the tree remains. A little worse for wear due to the heavy rain and wind, but still hanging in there.

‘Tis the Season

Neighbors missed the memo that last week was Christmas tree pickup, and the trash company makes zero exceptions.

The battle of wills starts today.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

I feel like I’ve met a few writers in my time that have pulled the same stunt…

Soccer’s Ultimate Con Man Was a Superstar Who Couldn’t Play the Game

Royal Crown

Everything you ever wanted to know about RC Cola (and why it never became popular).

Still my favorite soda… though I don’t even drink Coke any more…

Dad Joke Doesn’t Work Out

Me: Hey kids, look, a flock of cows!

Zoe (13): Brown cows!

Me: Uh, yeah, a flock of cows!

Zoe: Yeah, brown cows!

Beckett (9): It’s not flock.

Me: Yeah, flock of cows!

Beckett: Flock is for birds.

Me (frustrated): Yeah, flock of cows!

Beckett (rolls eyes): Never mind.

Windows

Since upgrading my brand new Lenovo Yoga 3 to Windows 10…

  • webcam doesn’t work
  • iTunes won’t even load
  • keyboard randomly doubles up on characters about 1 of 100 times you press a key… but about 1 out of 5 times you press the letter C
  • and there’s no help for any of this online

Story of my life.

This Is a Real Site

ahJioCg

I dunno, she looks like a gluten eater to me. How do they keep people from lying on their profiles just to try to get with eligible, gluten-free singles???

April Fool

Is it just me or are the April Fools’ Day pranks of today getting entirely tiresome? I think it’s because the internet makes it too easy to pull them off. How about painting the Golden Gate Bridge blue or releasing a herd of cows inside City Hall? Now that’s a prank, people.

Case in point. (I can’t tell if Eater even got the joke…)

International Shipping

So UPS, let me get this straight.

Someone ships an express worldwide package — 58 pounds — to Ghana, Africa, using my UPS account number, but from an origin that’s about 2,000 miles away from where I live. The bill for the shipping is over $1,000. I almost never ship anything, let alone anything to Africa.

You don’t see anything just a little bit odd about that scenario?

PG&E, This Is Ridiculous

Dear Valued Customer,

Your energy statement(s) for Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG&E) is attached and ready to be paid.

You may pay your bill within the secure PDF* by following the easy steps below:

  1. Open attached PDF.
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Accept any Adobe security settings, if applicable.

*Adobe Reader version 7.0.8 and above is required to open the attached PDF. The Secure PDF Payment feature is not supported on mobile devices such as iPhone, iPad or Android. Please use a desktop or laptop computer to use the Secure PDF Payment feature, or log in to your account on MyEnergy to pay your bill(s).

Click below to view the most recent bill inserts including any legal and mandated notices. www.pge.com/billinserts

If you have any questions, please contact the appropriate corresponding number below for additional information:

Residential customers: 1-877-660-6789
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Sincerely,
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The Business Equivalent of “The Dog Did It”

Me (to Fedex): Your Delivery Manager service isn’t working. It says my house is a business address. Obviously it’s a residential address.

Fedex: The post office has you classified as a business address. You need to get them to change it.

Me (to post office): Can you change my house from a business address to a residential address?

Post office: Your house has been listed as a residential address for a year.

Me (to Fedex): The post office says my house is a residential address. Can you make the change on your end so I can use your Delivery Manager service?

Fedex: The post office has you classified as a business address. You need to get them to change it.

Me (to Fedex): The post office says my house is a residential address.

Fedex: The post office has you classified as a business address. You need to get them to change it.

Me (to Fedex): The post office says my house is a residential address.

Fedex: The post office has you classified as a business address. You need to get them to change it.

End.