abject failure
The New Math
According to a letter from a KitchenAid warranty provider, this company suggests I pay $517 for a 5-year warranty on a 10-year-old mixer that now costs $340 new. Who’s with me?
Read MoreFixing an Unreadable Smart Card?
Anyone have any tips on fixing unreadable smart cards with chips like those seen below? I’ve got $45 stuck on this parking card and nowhere to go with it because it gives a “card error” message every time I try to use it…
Read MoreLance Armstrong + Oprah: Here’s How It’ll Go Down
Here’s a digest so you don’t actually have to watch the Lance Armstrong shame-fest. Gosh Oprah, it feels so good to finally admit to the doping. Living with this shame for years has really been impossible. I’ve let my fans down. I’ve let America down. But mostly I’ve let myself down. I take responsibility, but…
Read MoreBest Spammer “Name” Ever
“Lazarus Nielsen”
Read MoreNow That’s an Error Message!
Stuff People Give Out at Food Drives
Spent several hours going door to door with my son’s Cub Scout pack this morning collecting canned goods for the San Francisco Food Bank. Among the items received for donation: A jar of “Goober Grape” PB&J combo A bottle of Trader Joe’s Thai curry sauce Multiple 12-packs of Coca-Cola Bag of dried lentils from a…
Read MoreWhy “New York Times Bestseller” Means Nothing
What does it take to get on the New York Times Best Seller list? A lot of money, that’s all. Here’s how publishers looking to cash in on those golden words do it. The secret: “bulk sales” — where a few bookstores receive massive orders driven by a small number of buyers. The NYT now…
Read MoreColumbine at 13
Everything you remember about Columbine is wrong. A new book out reminds of what really went down. One interesting tidbit from this page: Myth #5. There were no warning signs that could have prevented the Columbine massacre. Truth: Other parents had complained about Eric Harris, multiple times. Both Eric and Dylan had been arrested before. Thirteen…
Read MoreThe Shoulders of Giants
The worst thing is thinking of an idea for an awesome blog post during the night, then forgetting it completely by the time you wake up.
Read MoreSFO
In the history of air travel, has a flight ever become undelayed? I think not.
Read MoreThese Kids Today
Amazed to see the army kids headed into middle school this morning… about half with a Starbucks cup in hand.
Read MoreOne Two Three Four
This is what I’m reminded of when all the students doing jumping jacks at my kids’ karate class. iy9Etpp5tpyB0.gif (GIF Image, 466 × 331 pixels).
Read MoreI Really Do Understand
It can be hard to remember everyone’s email address, but can you at least remember your own email address when you fill out a form or even email something to yourself? Is it that hard?
Read MoreYou Can Only Blame Yourself
For the second time in a year, a motorist has been ticketed in South Carolina for displaying a replica of testicles on a vehicle. Another testicle ticket written in South Carolina – Weird News – The Charleston Gazette
Read MoreBaa Ram Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!
29 pigs is one too many. Judge: Florence Gruber must offload pigs from Paulsboro home | NJ.com.
Read MoreDebt Collectors Reach New Lows
There is no occupation I dislike more than the debt collector. Here’s another reason to hate them. Hospital patients waiting in an emergency room or convalescing after surgery are being confronted by an unexpected visitor: a debt collector at bedside. This and other aggressive tactics by one of the nation’s largest collectors of medical debts,…
Read MoreAnger Management
Just off the phone with a debt collector for Providian who literally screamed at me: “Why don’t you pay your debts!?” Only problem: I’ve never had an account with Providian. Wrong Chris Null.
Read MoreSay What?
My collected works can be bought for $41, it seems. (Please do not buy this.)
Read MoreSpam Headline of the Day
From “Chase”: “You have an uncornfirm payment.” I wonder if it’s legit?
Read More“The first thing they told me was, ‘Leave your cats and get out.'”
In a story full of great quotes, that was perhaps the greatest.
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