Category: abject failure
Market Street to Close to Traffic for Pilot Project
Well thank God for this. Lord knows when I’m walking near Market and 6th what I really want to be doing is wandering around in the street.
Aw Jeez, Wally
Anyone else find themselves trying to read the faux newspaper articles and notes that appear for a split second on TV shows and movies?
Here’s a classic from Leave It To Beaver.
Joe Queenan offers a dazzlingly insightful look at the modern apology and its apparently utter lack of actual remorse.
Even in more recent, less theatrically vindictive times, true regret for one’s transgressions has always required a willingness to accept punishment, even if the punishment consists of nothing more than humiliation. The wrongdoer must admit that he has behaved shamefully and then accept being shamed. This means that if he is going to apologize for his actions, his apology must be abject and mortifying, with no wheedling, no qualifications, no whining. The apology cannot be used as a justification for one’s misdeeds, nor can the apology be hijacked to make the penitent seem in some way noble. For an apology to work, the apologist must get down on his knees and grovel. It is not enough to ask for forgiveness. He must beg for it.
Elegy for the Tone Deaf
Can’t sing? Here’s why. (Hint: Blame your brain architecture.)
And What Is Your Age, Sir?
New rules at the airport, yay!
As of Saturday, you may (or may not, who knows!) have to provide your gender (gay) and age (uhh) when buying your little online plane tickets so you can go to New Jersey or whatever, for a funeral. Hooray!
This Is All Kinds of Awesome
The world’s most expensive champagne looks fit for the Flintstones.
(Thanks for the tip, Toby!)
Mind vs. Matter
Brain says: Delivery is from 10 to 12.
Reality says: Delivery is from 12 to 2.
Brain loses. So does stomach, which was waiting for delivery to go get lunch.
I’m Leaving Home Without It
My cell phone number: xxx-xxx-0033
American Express’s new number they’re using (and which shows up on Caller ID) when they’re demanding their money from people: xxx-xxx-0333
A dozen confused people who can’t make their credit card payments calling me at all hours every day… and probably assuming I’m trying to scam them somehow.
The Kool-Aid Is Served
Final recording from Jonestown, November 18, 1978. 44 minutes of preaching and death. Yeesh.
Whoever Wins, We Lose
In some ways, they were both right.
Pundit Derrick Jensen says: Conservation, recycling, and personal green technologies are useless. Interesting and very sad piece on why, as a race, we’re pretty much doomed.
“Even if every person in the United States did everything [An Inconvenient Truth] suggested, U.S. carbon emissions would fall by only 22 percent. Scientific consensus is that emissions must be reduced by at least 75 percent worldwide.”
“Collectively, municipal golf courses use as much water as municipal human beings.”
“Municipal waste accounts for only 3 percent of total waste production in the United States.”
Still, I guess change has to start somewhere… sigh.
I Miss All the Good Stuff
The Big Time
Oscars Expanding Best Picture to 10 Nominees
Fairly ridiculous. When’s the last time there were even five truly worthy nominees in that race?
Still, I guess it will make for a more unpredictable finish, which is fun.
On Fava Beans, Chianti
I’m getting so tired of this ridiculous Steve Jobs liver transplant story. The increasingly tiresome Jim Goldman “confirms” what was widely suspected: Jobs went to Tennessee so he could get a liver transplant. Yeah, we got it.
But now comes the backlash: Did Jobs jump the transplant line so he could get a liver before a more worthy candidate? Says Goldman:
However, two sources at Apple told me tonight that both Jobs and the hospital were facing increased criticism that Jobs used his wealth and status to secure the donated liver. The Wall Street Journal, which broke this story, raised the issue in its Friday evening coverage that there might be a perception that Jobs state-shopped, looking for the shortest wait-list for a liver transplant.
Now I have no special love for Apple or Jobs, but — Jesus! — the man was clearly dying, and you’re going to try and fault him for using every ounce of his influence to try to get a liver as soon as possible, even if that means begging for an organ in every state? Hell, I’m surprised he didn’t go out of the country for the procedure, though perhaps that would have drawn too much attention to the matter — or perhaps Tennessee just turned out to have a short enough wait.
Seriously, Jim. Maybe he pulled some strings and even greased some palms so he wouldn’t croak. If you had all the money in the world, wouldn’t you?
Crashed Kindle DX
Picked up my Kindle DX review unit and this is what I found:
Broken screen? I guess. Rebooting hasn’t helped. Plastic is in perfect condition, and the unit wasn’t dropped or mistreated in any way.
DeFnestration: The complete removal of a misplaced “Fn” key from a laptop by the user, typically because it has been awkwardly located at the bottom left of the keyboard, where the Ctrl key is supposed to go.