Ever wonder what the aliens are watching on TV?
Category: delusions of grandeur
The Big Time
Oscars Expanding Best Picture to 10 Nominees
Fairly ridiculous. When’s the last time there were even five truly worthy nominees in that race?
Still, I guess it will make for a more unpredictable finish, which is fun.
On Fava Beans, Chianti
I’m getting so tired of this ridiculous Steve Jobs liver transplant story. The increasingly tiresome Jim Goldman “confirms” what was widely suspected: Jobs went to Tennessee so he could get a liver transplant. Yeah, we got it.
But now comes the backlash: Did Jobs jump the transplant line so he could get a liver before a more worthy candidate? Says Goldman:
However, two sources at Apple told me tonight that both Jobs and the hospital were facing increased criticism that Jobs used his wealth and status to secure the donated liver. The Wall Street Journal, which broke this story, raised the issue in its Friday evening coverage that there might be a perception that Jobs state-shopped, looking for the shortest wait-list for a liver transplant.
Now I have no special love for Apple or Jobs, but — Jesus! — the man was clearly dying, and you’re going to try and fault him for using every ounce of his influence to try to get a liver as soon as possible, even if that means begging for an organ in every state? Hell, I’m surprised he didn’t go out of the country for the procedure, though perhaps that would have drawn too much attention to the matter — or perhaps Tennessee just turned out to have a short enough wait.
Seriously, Jim. Maybe he pulled some strings and even greased some palms so he wouldn’t croak. If you had all the money in the world, wouldn’t you?
$500 for 2 Hours Work
I could totally handle this. Totally.
Silence Really Is Golden
See, now you have a real reason not to tell us all about your hopes and dreams…
Tests done since 1933 show that people who talk about their intentions are less likely to make them happen.
Announcing your plans to others satisfies your self-identity just enough that you’re less motivated to do the hard work needed.
Five Stars: Back in Print!
That’s right, folks. You can order the paperback version of Five Stars! How to Become a Film Critic, the World’s Greatest Job today from CreateSpace. It will be back on Amazon in the next few weeks. Stay tuned for more details!
Hell of a Way to Go
I thought they were supposed to be buried in a VW Beetle…
When Cameron Was in Egypt’s Land…
Let my Cameron goooooooooooooooooooooo.
FOR SALE: 370 Beech Street Highland Park, IL 60035
$2.3 million and worth every penny. Is that really a Ferrari in the garage? Hard to tell from the pic…
They should give the guy an extra million for doing this so wisely.
But seriously… this is not the type of guy that normally plays the lottery, is it?
More Ebook Buying Options
Good news, folks… new hard copies of Half Mast and Five Stars! should be coming soon…
Meanwhile, check out these new ebook options at Scribd:
Five Stars! How to Become a Film Critic, the World’s Greatest Job
Seriously? 12 million copies of this album were sold? Not that Matchbox 20 is bad or anything, but… 12 million? Why?
That’s more than Abbey Road… and every other original Beatles album except The White Album, for that matter.
Live Abroad, Get Creative
That’s it. I’m moving to Gdansk.
Next to Godliness
See, when you clean up after yourself, great things happen.
Child: Can you get your license plate to say whatever you want?
Me: Yes, as long as it fits into 7 characters and it’s not rude.
Child: What, like “FART YOUR BUTT OFF?”
A Fry Cook on Venus, Indeed!
Just watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on Blu-ray… with this theory (via MetaTalk) in mind. Doesn’t totally work, but it was a fun way to experience the movie nonetheless:
My favorite thought-piece about Ferris Bueller is the “Fight Club” theory, in which Ferris Bueller, the person, is just a figment of Cameron’s imagination, like Tyler Durden, and Sloane is the girl Cameron secretly loves.
One day while he’s lying sick in bed, Cameron lets “Ferris” steal his father’s car and take the day off, and as Cameron wanders around the city, all of his interactions with Ferris and Sloane, and all the impossible hijinks, are all just played out in his head. This is part of the reason why the “three” characters can see so much of Chicago in less than one day — Cameron is alone, just imagining it all.
It isn’t until he destroys the front of the car in a fugue state does he finally get a grip and decide to confront his father, after which he imagines a final, impossible escape for Ferris and a storybook happy ending for Sloane (“He’s gonna marry me!”), the girl that Cameron knows he can never have.
Use the Force, Dude
What Do You Do with Your Computer While You’re Getting a Muffin?
Because that’s what you really need at the salad bar.
Overheard (In My House)
Mom (exasperated to child over something): Jesus!
Child (upset about whatever): I’m not a Jesus!
I Live in a Swingin’ Kinda Town
(For non-SFers, that’s our primitive subway system.)