We used to let Zoe chew on the mail. She just likes to gnaw on paper endlessly. Who doesn’t? So anyway I’m in the men’s room here and our local mail man drops in… and brings a giant load of to-be-delivered mail in with him, dumping it right there in the middle of the floor.…

You can now freeze off your own warts using a little can of freon and a special hollow-stemmed Q-Tip they sell at the drug store. This is only mildly painful (I have a plantar wart on the bottom of my foot) and it seems to have worked, at least temporarily. It’s very strange, probably a…

When I used to write for the Austin Chronicle, I often appeared in the masthead next to Harvey Pekar, whose name, when alphabetized, followed mine. Now they made a movie about Harvey. It’s pretty good.

Unless stopped, 20 computers are going to destroy the world at 3 o’clock today (EDT). Unfortunately, this is going to interfere with my lunch hour.

Welcome to my home town.

And here is the primary reason why filmmakers should never whine about bad reviews to those who wrote them. This is also why I should stop taking pity on the dreck DVDs that show up unannounced in my mailbox.

Why is it that in horse racing we bet on the horse but in auto racing we bet on the driver? In other news I am so sick it isn’t funny. Since Thursday afternoon, massive sinus problems, sneezing, headache, stuffiness. All the drugs in the world have basically done nothing. Write me if you have…

Amusing scene outside the KFC: Young lithe girl arguing with obese KFC manager, with a cop overseeing the debate. Girl has on a shirt reading “KFC is Cruelty” and is handing out fliers to would-be chicken eaters, much to the dissatisfaction of the manager. As there’s a long line inside the KFC (I don’t care…

Well this is great. Of the top ten Google hits for “top DVD sales,” zero are up to date. The #10 link is 2 weeks old, but the rest haven’t been updated since 2001 or 2002, and some don’t have any data on them at all. The Google backlash is supposed to be over, but…

Is it funny that the Midwest and the Middle East have such radically different denotations, considering they’re, you know, both in the “middle”?

“Scared,” said Jeffrey Snop, of Queens, at the Times Square subway station. “It reminded me of 9/11 and stuff like that.” Er, okay. I’m just giddy that now New York has to face the insults that we did over power outages a few years ago. Losers.

Y’all gotta dig Junior Senior… the video rocks.

On the geeky lame side… but… I Am A: Neutral Good Human Thief Bard Alignment:Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered…

Meme courtesy Arno Ghelfi.

Carrie Bradshaw is the new Doogie Howser. Is there an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie doesn’t type something, look off into the distance, then return to a close-up of what she’s typing? I hear the Doogie theme song in my head right now. Over and over and over. Though I have to…

Arnie’s a fan of Coke, Pepsi, and Roto Rooter.

My old friend Charles is down to one nut. Y’all give him some support.

I neglected to mention my new gig… exciting stuff, good times, good times…. In other news, today is this weblog’s one-year anniversary. Wow.

Y’all voting for Larry? Hey Larry, how about a linkback?

Vomit. Let me tell you about vomit. They say when it’s your own child that pukes on you, you don’t mind, but when that amounts to about a half gallon of sour milk right in your lap, well, you mind. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh.